Merry Christmas!
For my #InstaPoetry today, this is the poem I wrote.
The birth of a child.
Sweet. Innocent.
Like any other new life,
sprung into being.
The beginning of a destiny,
unravelling in oblivion,
taking its own sweet time to unfurl,
to establish its significance.
Perhaps today is the beginning
of something new for you too,
a birthing, the first step in your journey
back to your own, true self.
You just don't know it yet.
Today’s poem is inspired by a song a dear friend sent me years ago. Pentatonix’s version of ‘Mary, did you know?’
The first time I heard it, I cried my heart out. It was the last time I heard it … until yesterday, when I summoned up the courage to listen to it again, knowing it will rip my heart into pieces again. And it did.
As a mother, every day I try to get a little more used to the fact that I will never know what lies in store for my little one, how his precious life will unfold. Curiosity, rather than anxiety, about the future, coupled with a determination to stay in the present moment have been helpful approaches. But it is never a permanent antidote.
And so as a mother, I’m curious to know too what Mary would have felt had she known how her baby boy’s life was to unfold. Both his miracles and the way he'd meet his end by crucifixion in front of her very eyes.
The very thought makes me feel as if someone's holding my heart in a tight vise-like grip and squeezing, squeezing hard, which should cause it to burst, but instead it feels as if someone is pouring all the pain of the world into it.
Nevertheless, I braved that song a few times this morning because of how beautiful it is.
The lyrics below are the ones that speak to me the most as a mother, because every child, whatever lies in their destiny, unknowingly plays a great role in stirring the souls of their parents. D has done this for me, simply by his arriving into and being in my life.
And it is up to us to either resist or surrender, fight it or allow it to transform us and take us into new ways of being and living and loving.
Did you know that your baby boy
Has come to make you new?
This child that you delivered, will soon deliver you?
...
Did you know that your baby boy
Has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little baby
You kiss the face of God.
~ Lyrics of Mary, Did You Know?
And yes, when I look into D's eyes, when I hug him, when his face lights up at the sight of me, when he walks into a room and the world suddenly feels brighter and more alive in his presence, I do feel as if I'm looking into the face of God. And as I've been telling him this past week, being with him is the only Christmas present I want.
Joyeux Noël, mes amis!
Image Attribution: Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash