(day -4): the universe truly conspires

If you've been reading my daily posts on the writing challenge, you know how much I've been dithering on it.

One hugely influential factor that has kept me from signing up so far, one that I haven't mentioned in any of my posts so far, was the cost. USD 300 amounts to almost CAD 450, and I couldn't bring myself to put down that amount to secure accountability for writing.

It is an investment, but I feared that the worry of investing such an amount alone would compound my fear of failure and prevent me from meaningfully participating in the challenge.

I recently read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho – neither the book nor the author need any introduction – solely to set eyes again on that magical sentence "... when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

So when DWS announced a 50% off on his website this morning, I took it as a clear sign from the Universe and immediately went ahead and signed up for the Half Challenge. Yay! I'm in!

And I'm so excited about it all, about being part of the challenge, about sending in my word count for the week to Dean, and about the miraculous way in which this surprise discount came about at just the right time.

The other strange thing that happened today was this. After I realized yesterday how I tended to resist my reality by catastrophizing and blaming, I woke up this morning with the intention of facing the day as it came.

D had spent another sleepless night, waking up and crying out in pain often. When I woke up it was already 7:30 and D and KrA were still asleep, no doubt exhausted from having slept fitfully, so I went straight to my computer and logged in an absence request from school for D. We also had plans to head to the doctor's later this morning.

As they were still asleep, I opened up my manuscript and started writing. Ten minutes later, D was awake, and the morning began. D asked if I too could come to the doctor's, and despite my initial resistance I agreed.

Then something changed. As KrA was preparing breakfast, D realized he was feeling much better and was able to walk, albeit unsteadily, on his own. And he came up with the idea that he could head to school after the doctor's visit.

And so began a bit of a scramble as KrA prepped his lunchbox and I tried to fill D's backpack with all his school supplies as he had brought them all home over the March break.

At the doctor's, we waited for about 45 minutes only to be informed that we'd have wait another hour or that we could take an appointment to come back after school.  We opted for the latter, dropped D at school, then came back and I had the entire afternoon to myself to attend to writing and other life stuff.

Funny, how life twists and turns of its own accord.

Now if only I can remember these learnings, especially when I need them the most.

To trust.

To accept.

And to attend this single moment on hand wholeheartedly, without squandering it in regretting/romanticising the past or dreading/awaiting the future.