am i doing this right?

How do we know if we're living life the 'right' way?

To answer that, we'd have to answer another question first: What is the 'right' way to live?

This is an impossible question to answer.

Well, culture and society will tell us that wealth, fame, status, influence, popularity, renown, are the most prized markers of success. The more you have of any of these, the more society and culture permit you to call yourself a 'success'.

But what if none of these hold much appeal for you, especially beyond the levels needed for survival?

Let us add more markers: family, neighbourhood, community, circle of influence, contributions to different spheres (economy, culture, environment, areas of expertise).

If we don't have much of any of the above to speak of, then are we living life right?

Or let's take the most woke marker of our times: Spirituality!

Even if we forsake material pursuits, how do we know we're living a spiritual life the 'right' way?

Would I know it if I become a happier, calmer person after several weeks or a few months or years? How would I even measure that?

I sometimes wonder if I'm doing this 'writing' thing right.

The first thought that arises is this: if I'm doing it right, I should have more ardent readers and glowing reviews, more people who read and love my writings, a larger audience that would generally agree on the 'rightness' of my storytelling abilities, convincing me that I've gotten it just 'right'.

Or I should have more money coming from my written works. Or I should be better-known in the writing community.

If I don't have any of these (which is the case right now), then I must be doing something wrong, isn't it?

But who really is the authority on this? The scores of fans who leave glowing 4-star and 5-star reviews on Goodreads? The Hollywood producer who reads your book and decides it is a story worthy of being told on the silver screen?

And what if my works, like so many others, fail to catch the attention of these powers-that-be? Is it because I did something wrong? Is it because I didn't do this whole writing thing 'right'?

Which is why I love what Jiddu Krishnamurti had to say on meditation:

There is no one to guide you, no one to tell you that you are progressing, no one to tell you that or to encourage you. You have to stand completely alone in meditation. You understand what it means? And this light can only come to yourself when you understand, or investigate into yourself what you are.

That is self-awareness, to know what you are — not according to psychologists, not according to some philosophers, not according to the speaker, but to know, to be aware of your own nature, of your own structure, of your own thinking, feeling, find out the whole structure of it. 

I can apply this to everything in my life now. Writing. Parenting. Living. So many so-called experts out there, each promising to teach you the 'right' way of doing this thing, whatever it is you're seeking worldly success in.

I've had enough of living in fear ... Fear of getting it all wrong. Fear of never seeing (material) success. Fear of not knowing what the right response is, what the right move to make is.

How liberating it would be to not take anyone else's opinion as the true, final word of authority? But to instead write and live from a place of abandon, from a place of experimentation, from a space within where there's no success or failure but merely a discovery of what comes next? Like a riveting tale unfolding.