having time ≠ having energy

One of the common exercises productivity gurus insist amateur writers or creatives do is that of charting their activities throughout the day in 15-minute intervals.

Then they go on to point out 'how much time' is actually available and could be put towards writing. Got 15 minutes to go before heading out for school pick-up? Go, write! Got 20 minutes to spare while waiting at the dentist's? Start writing!

For the most part I've eliminated time-wasters from my day. I'm not on social media. I don't have distracting apps to scroll through on my phone. We don't even have a TV at home.

And yet, the day goes by quickly.

I start writing as soon as D leaves for school. By the time I've met my word count, it's 10 AM or later. A walk, a quick lunch, cooking for dinner, and it's past noon. Another couple of hours of work — usually making progress on other aspects of publishing like cover design, formatting, uploading etc. — and it's already time to pick up D from school.

I do have time after D falls asleep but by then I'm so tired I can barely think.

For a long time, I used to feel guilty about seemingly having the time but not being able to make the most of it.

The first time I read something to the contrary was in a post by productivity coach, Ashley Janssen.

Apparently, she too gets her clients to conduct the time-block exercise but ... what they realize at the end of the exercise is not what most productivity gurus will have you believe.

Part of my initial exercises with my clients is having them map out a regular week with all their everyday activities and routines. When they’ve done this, their first reaction is the shocked realization of how little time is available each day. Once you consider hygiene, meal prep and eating, kids' activities, driving, etc., you are lucky if you have four or five total hours left in the day!

To avoid the feel-bads of not getting “enough” done, try to reset your expectations for what is reasonable and possible in a day, given those other factors.

~ Ashley Janssen

Wait a minute! Does that mean just because I have a 20-minute gap between one task and the next, I don't necessarily have to fill it with writing or any other creative work? Phew! What a relief.

The instant I read Janssen's words, I felt a weight lift from my chest.

The other thing I've come to realize is that I need to schedule time for rest every day if I wish to be a calm, patient and sane person.

I've long maintained that what we do is not as important as who we become in the process. If writing makes me a happier person, then great. But if the desire to write creates in me resentment for all other responsibilities and aspects of my life, then I'm definitely going about it the wrong way.

I knew we were going to have a busy afternoon today. We had tickets for a Toronto FC vs Chicago FC game, and heading to BMO Field entailed a long train journey up and down.

We were to leave only at around 12:45 PM, which means I did have a couple of hours in the morning in which I could have chosen to head to the library and write. Instead, I decided to rest. After working out, having breakfast, spending time with D and cooking lunch, I read for a bit and even had a 20-minute nap.

Best decision I ever made!

We had a wonderful time at the game and now we're back home and tired and ready to fall asleep.

In the same article, Janssen says,

You don’t have to earn rest or take rest for any other reason than it feels good. It’s not something you get to have when you have done everything else. 

Rest can mean any number of things, like going for a walk, taking a nap, playing a video game, watching your favourite show, taking regular breaks, playing sports, knitting, playing an instrument, or reading a book. It can be whatever recharges you. The key is to remember that rest is vital to a joyful, fun, and fulfilling life.

~ Ashley Janssen

I couldn't agree more.

So, where have you been holding yourself to impossible standards of productivity and failing? How can you begin to release yourself slowly from the pressure of your own expectations?