long-term is longer than you think

After yesterday's encounter with discomfort and overcoming it to make progress on the writing front, I became all anxious at night at the mere thought of having to repeat this day after day after day after day.

I did pick up a squabble with KrA about him being unwell — yes, it's both unfair and mean on my part — and didn't sleep well at night.

This morning, I started work on a shaky foot, but this time I was aware of what was going on, of the traps I keep falling into, and so I kept going until I finished the short story I had started writing three days ago.

Wow! That is probably a record of some sort for me.

I understand now, somewhat, what it takes to write book after book after book.

In my plans and visions, the days of hard work segue into one another, like a scene from a movie, and life-changing success lands in my lap even before I know it.

Obviously, this has no resemblance to reality.

In reality, the days are painfully slow. Discomfort keeps cropping up over and over again, especially when you become complacent and start to think that after all this practice, you'd have become better at dealing with discomfort and not giving in to it.

Maybe. Maybe not.

But practice has increased my awareness greatly. This time around, I am able to sit through the discomfort, I don't expect it to go away, and the more I face it the more I can remind myself of all the times I've faced it in the past and that gives me the confidence to sit through it once more. The knowledge that I've done it once means I can do it again is quite valuable.

Doing the work is so much better than sitting and thinking about it and making plans to do it.

The only planner I really need is a to-do list, so that I don't have to keep in my head all that needs to be done.

Thinking brand new thoughts that you've never thought before is far more conducive to creating major life changes than thinking different varieties of the same old thoughts.

~ Mike Dooley, The Universe Talks

I heard on the Big Life with Alexandra Eidens podcast this afternoon how when we keep thinking about all that we don't want, we don't really make room to receive what we actually want.

She gives the example of a man asking his wife what she wants for her birthday and she hands him an entire list of what she doesn't want. 'I don't want a dress.' 'I don't want a fancy meal.' 'I don't want a game.'

And so the clueless husband steps out and buys a gift he thinks his wife would like. And when she opens it, she moans, 'But this is not what I wanted.'

It's the same when we keep thinking about the things we don't have. I don't have money. I don't have friends. I don't have love. Funny how life keeps revolving around the same universal desires.

Then the Universe doesn't know what to gift us, unless we shift our thoughts to focus on gratitude and where we're going instead of what we don't want or what we don't have.

Scientifically and logically speaking, the less time, energy, effort and attention we invest on what's not working, the more of these resources we are left with to expend on matters of importance.

And when we focus and do more of what we've chosen to focus on, then over a long period of time we'll see our share of successes and failures and growth.

It's as simple and as difficult as that.

I definitely feel a shift in me after this visit to the family. For a long time, I kept thinking about family and their presence or lack thereof in my life. I kept living under this illusion that if only my circumstances had been different, I'd have achieved a lot of success by now.

Thankfully, those illusions have been completely shattered.

Unfettered by those fantasies, I can now face my reality as an author who's writing and building inventory and will see success in the long run.

Of course, the long-term will always feel like it's taking way longer than I'd like it to. That's yet another source of discomfort I'll have to learn to overcome and not let it stall me in my tracks.

One day at a time.

One day at a time.