believing in cheesy motivational quotes once again

D and I were watching the Spurs vs Timberwolves Game 4 last evening, so we got to see the moment when Wemby elbowed Naz Reid on his neck and was ejected from the game.

As I was checking the news this morning to see if there was any update on the NBA League's pending decision on whether or not to impose additional penalties and/or fines on Wemby, I came across an article about Reid's post-game media interview.

When asked about the incident, Reid is said to have responded with the words:

Pain is weakness leaving the body.

A quick Google search will tell you that the origins of this phrase lie in the US Marine Corps, but that's beside the point.

A month or so ago, upon hearing a phrase like the above, I'd have argued that it's plain foolishness to ignore pain and push through. What if that dogged persistence ends up being an act of foolhardiness rather than one of braveness?

Then, I sometimes see D playing basketball through the pain of a scraped knee or a twisted ankle, and remember my own days of youth — Gosh! Putting it that way makes me sound far older than I truly am, trust me! — especially at university, when I'd play basketball all evening or run for five miles, then come back, have dinner, and stay up to study and finish assignments and such. Exhaustion wasn't a word in my vocabulary back then.

The optimism of youth is infectious. It's a blessing to be in its vicinity. To be touched by it. To be swept up by its breezy potency.

I don't know when I lost that zest for life and fell upon every ache and pain as an excuse to stay closed and hidden, wrapped up in a cocoon, too tired and hurting and raw and vulnerable from the scrapes and gashes one inevitably endures in daily encounters with the world.

But something has begun to shift of late.

What it is, I don't know.

Perhaps it is the warm sunshine that has begun to spill on our heads or the sight of newborn green leaves.

Perhaps it is the relentless passage of time, the truth of it bearing down upon me in full force what with D set to turn 10 years old in exactly 40 days from now.

Or perhaps this kind of wisdom only comes as we age, as we begin to lose all that we once took for granted — youth, physical vitality, lifelong friendships, even courage — and begin to cherish whatever comes our way.

My mother would say that the planets have shifted at last, like clouds parting to make way for the rays of the sun. Mine is a family of astrologers, so I'm prone to believe that explanation.

But, perhaps I've also had enough of living a scared, small existence, confined by fears conjured up by my imagination, and am determined not to waste a single more moment of life in despair and despondency, in negative thought spirals and doomsday scenarios.

I asked the Internet questions such as "how to accept my life without complaints" and came across a Reddit thread in which someone had shared how they had embarked on a 30-day journey of self-improvement.

The challenge is to catch oneself in the process of complaining and replace those thoughts or words with a more problem-solving approach.

This is not toxic positivity.

For instance, if it's grey and rainy outside and the weather is dragging our mood down, we'd mainly complain, "Gosh! It's so gloomy outside."

The trick is to complete that sentence so that it's no longer a mere moan of a victim but a more empowering, solution-oriented statement. For instance, "Gosh! It's so gloomy outside. My mind feels weighed down. What are some things I could do to cheer up? Listen to music? Clean my closet? Write in my journal."

For each day that we give in to complaining or moaning, we add a day to the total number of days we'll remain committed to not complaining.

I started this exercise on Saturday, which went really well, only for Sunday to overcompensate with a lot more negativity that I thought would surface on a Mother's Day made ultra special with much love by D.

But today is a day of reset, and I can already see the world around me getting brighter when I can stay in the present moment, and adopt a problem-solving approach every time I find myself facing any issue, be it real or imaginary.

Game 4 of the play-offs between Knicks and 76ers didn't air on Sportsnet, and neither D nor I have the heart to watch the highlights on YouTube.

We don't have the heart to see the 76ers facing defeat at the hands of the Knicks, especially after the 76ers played so gallantly against the higher-seeded Boston Celtics in the earlier playoff round to make it this far.

The 76ers played Game 4 in their home court in Philadelphia, but the stadium was apparently bursting with Knicks fans. So much so that the 76ers felt as though they were playing at Madison Square Garden (the Knicks's home court).

I've been looking up post-media interviews of Tyrese Maxey, and this is what he had to say about the complete lack of fan support for his team.

“It absolutely sucks, if I’m being honest. It just sucks. That’s really all I can say about it, man. It’s hard. It’s definitely difficult. It’s only one way to put a stop to it, and it’s that we have to go out there and win these games.”

The maturity of these words and of Maxey's understanding is incredible! He doesn't blame the lack of fan support for their loss. Instead, he understands that that reason they lack fan support in the first place is because they haven't been performing as well as an audience shelling out upwards of $500 per ticket would expect.

The ability to take responsibility for not drawing a supportive crowd, rather than blame the lack of support for their playoff losses, is rare. Or maybe it's not rare but it's a quality that I had certainly not been able to muster for a very long time.

It's only in the past few days that I've been determined to live my life more intentionally, spend time with D in ways that are joyful, encouraging and supportive.

And in order to be able to do that, it was obvious that I needed to feel joyful and secure within myself.

Strangely, setting aside the ambition to earn a living by writing books has helped unravel all that was tightly wound up inside me.

I had so many anxieties around writing and self-publishing as a business and it took up so much of my mental and emotional energy to combat those fears and keep doing the work that it left me with very little courage and willpower to face other aspects of life with curiosity, trust and open-heartedness.

I didn't even realize this fully until several days after I had made the decision to quit writing for money and shared it privately with close friends at first, then announced it in my latest monthly newsletter.

Now that I've delinked writing and earning a livelihood, my life has begun to turn around. My daily activities are filled with more joy. I can read without that underlying fear that I may never be able to write like so-and-so author did. I can write blog posts like these without berating myself for not using my time more wisely to write fiction instead.

And, I've also been able to look back at all the mistakes I've made in this journey and, instead of shaking my head at myself, I can look at the past and glean valuable insights and learnings that I've begun to apply in my current journey.

To not have been able to do this for years had been so limiting, I realize only now. But this newfound self of mine doesn't believe in regrets. No complaints, remember?

So here's to looking ahead to good times.

In celebration of this transition, I'll leave you with some motivational quotes.

Turn your wounds into wisdom.
~ Oprah Winfrey

Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you.
~ Mary Tyler Moore

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.
~ Helen Keller

There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
~ Carl Jung

Pain is the portal to consciousness.
~ Dr. Shefali Tsabary

The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
~ Lord Byron

Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on.
~ Jeff Ross

It's not who's the best - it's who can take the most pain.
~ Steve Prefontaine

I think that any time of great pain is a time of transformation, a fertile time to plant new seeds.
~ Debbie Ford